That should be enough
by katieyellow
Summary: Set after episode 5.11 how things could have gone if Haley had let Nathan back home too soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Set after episode 5.11, my first one shot (although its in two parts) and I was just feeling a bit angsty, I've had this idea for a long while so decided to try and write it.**

**(Also enjoyed the latest episode of OTH but the whole Lucas and Lindsey thing i find weird because if Lucas and Peyton are going to end up together then why are they still pushing Lucas and Lindsey it just seems pointless, if they want to delay the Leyton thing then couldn't they just say Lucas wasn't ready for another relationship yet.)**

She wasn't happy but there was no where else she wanted to be, no one else she wanted to be with so maybe if Jamie and Nathan were happy again then that should be enough.

It was the end of the hen/bachelor party and she knew what she had to do.

"You should move back in." She had told him words she was defiantly not ready to say yet but the utter look of happiness on his face confirmed what everyone else had been saying.

She jumped slightly in surprised when she heard Jamie whoop in joy she'd had no idea he was standing just out of the door listening, he jumped into his dads arms and they both beamed so wide while she fixed a fake smile on her face, they were both happy she had made the right decision.

"You have to go to bed mister, it's very late." Haley said "I'm sure your daddy will take you up."

"You should come too." Nathan said, slight worry in his eyes.

"I'm just going to finish up tidying down here you know I can't sleep unless I know every things in its right place. I'll be up soon." Haley said and smiled again, this time real knowing she would have a few minutes on her own.

The boys headed upstairs chatting happily and she felt unsettled, shouldn't she also be that happy.

She had never meant to tell Nathan she wanted a divorce but the shock of nearly losing Jamie had pushed her over the edge and if she hadn't have been so worried she would never had said it.

She loved Nathan and she didn't want to lose him but at the same time, images of him and Carrie by the shower and images of them kissing in her dream still hit her when she was with Nathan.

She knew she shouldn't still be feeling like this her friends had made it very clear that everything that had happened was also her fault.

Obviously no one had actually said that but Brooke had been the first to say something about her supposed bad behaviour over the last few months.

She's popped into the shop while Jamie was playing with Nathan and Lucas and the conversation had come round to the fact she'd hired a nanny.

Brooke had casually dropped into the conversation how if she had a child she would never let a stranger look after them. Haley had been shocked that Brooke was questioning her mothering skills and instincts. She had not said anything though worried about fighting and losing more people close to her but it did make her wonder who else thought she was a bad moma.

When the subject had turned to Nathan and her marriage Brooke although saying she sympathised with Haley that maybe while Nathan was still recovered she should have been home more and not been working two jobs.

She knew Brooke was trying to help so she had restrained from hitting her, she had noticed how broody Brooke had been getting and she guess that what Brooke wanted was a baby and that was why she was talking about being a supposed perfect parent.

Haley knew it was easy to talk about the best ways to bring up children when you didn't have any and that's exactly what Brooke was doing assuming after she had missed the first 3 years that Haley was a neglectful mother.

Peyton had also been less then sympathetic with her although she had not seen fit to criticise her mothering skills. Instead she had brought up the kiss with Chris and Haley had almost chocked on her juice, she had been 16 and confused and Peyton had actually compared the two situations.

Haley found it funny she had made one mistake, a big one maybe, but certain people would always remember and use it against her. The kiss wasn't even the big issue for Haley it was the fact he hadn't told her.

Lucas had not criticised her but had used every possible opportunity to tell her how sorry Nathan was and how he deserved a second chance, it got to the point where she didn't want to see Lucas any more because she knew what he would say. She knew Lucas would do the same if the tables were turned and defend her but she couldn't see how his badgering was helping her or Nathan.

Lindsey had been her last hope, someone she could talk to about how she felt and how over whelmed she was, the hen party was sounding more and more appealing where she could just forget everything for the night with Nathan and just have fun with the girls.

Lindsay instead of helping her, had pointed out how wonderful it was to have someone love you so much, like Nathan did and how that was the most important thing.

Haley guessed it was her upcoming marriage that was making her so optimistic and didn't dare break it to her that marriages needed a lot more then love but it also made her worry was she pushing away the only person who might truly love her.

The final straw had been Skill's words at the party, telling her how she had lost sight of being a family and how this was affecting Jamie and how he needed his family. The guilt she felt at his words, she knew it was her fault and that all she had to do to stop her little boy from hating her was let Nathan home.

She knew all her friends were just trying to help and didn't want to hurt her but with so many criticisms she began to wonder if maybe she was solely to blame for everything that had gone wrong.

So she had told him to stay even though now she didn't want to go to bed, she didn't mind him being in the house or Jamie being happy she just felt overwhelmed.

She didn't feel she could talk to him, didn't feel there was anything he could say to her at the moment that would make her feel better.

She knew he was sorry, she could see it in his eyes it was more that she worried, worried that someday someone would come along better then her and catch his eye, worried that he still kept things from her even after times in the past when things had escalated like the Dante situation and now like the Carrie one.

Mostly she worried about herself though, everyone seemed to think she should be forgiving Nathan by now and moving on but she couldn't just yet so was there something really wrong with her.

Were her standards too impossibly high, did Nathan often fail because she expected too much from him and would he realise this one day that it wasn't him that kept messing up but her.

Haley put the last of the glasses in the dish washer and went and sat on the sofa resting her head in her hands. As she sat there in her dark living room that not long ago had been full of people having a good time she couldn't help but see her life stretching ahead with two different paths.

The first where with some time things would improve, there were still things in her life that caused her joy and with those things as her base she could build on the things wrong in her life and in a couple of months or years they could get back the happy family that Jamie craved.

The other path though was different, waking up every morning it would become more and more apparent that there was something wrong with her, something, that despite everything good around her was making her unhappy and it would get more and more apparent with each day until the day that going back to sleep and not getting up seemed the only thing left to do.

She wasn't happy but there was no where else she wanted to be, no one else she wanted to be with so maybe if Jamie and Nathan were happy again then that should be enough.

**So originally this was going to be it but i decided to add a final bit to it that is happier. Basically i was sick of all the criticism that Haley seemed to be getting which i think most of it is rubbish. I guess now i know stuff is going to be ok with them its ok to write angsty stuff again. I hope you enjoy. I will hopefully update in the next few days. **


	2. Part 2

**So here's the second part i hope you all enjoy.**

He knew she wasn't happy but he was selfish and let the joy at being home again with his family get the better of him.

He naïvely thought that maybe in a few days she would be back to normal but by the end of the week, after the party, he knew something was seriously wrong.

In the week before the wedding he saw her pull away from everyone except Jamie who she continued to shower with love.

She even put up her best pretence when he was around that they were this big happy family and no one seemed to notice but him.

He could see how tired she was and he couldn't help but feel her pretence of everything being ok was getting to her.

At the wedding when Jamie was taken he had been too scared to even think about how Haley was feeling but when the initial shock was over when they were just waiting for news good or bad he saw the real her, the one she had been hiding for days and it scared him.

She went upstairs to Jamie's room and viciously told people to give her some space, she wanted to stay there alone but she caved finally and holding her in his arms after so long had given him some hope that maybe every thing could be ok again.

He thought maybe with Jamie back with them safe and sound that things might improve but they got worse, not obviously but the sign's were there.

Haley quit her job, well she told the head master she needed some time after her ordeal but he knew she had no intention of going back the way she took all her coloured marking pens and put them away in a draw at the bottom of a cupboard.

She turned down Peyton's offer of more producing work claiming she needed more time with her family and moved the piano into the garage.

She was spending more time with Jamie, in fact she was always with him and that worried Nathan the most, she would wait 30 minutes before nursery for him and when he went to other people's houses she always went too and in the night where ever she was sleeping she would still get up a couple of time and just go sit in his room to make sure he was still there.

Nathan had no idea what to do, he wanted to talk to her to demand she tell him what was wrong but she looked so frail he didn't want to fight with her and the fact she was often with Jamie meant he couldn't bring up serious issues.

He often tried to hug or touch her but Haley always kept it brief nothing like the hug when Jamie had been missing.

He also saw the spark in her eye was gone, she never talked excitedly about anything any more and didn't really try with her clothes or make up.

Luckily Jamie didn't seem to notice and, after his experience with Carrie, seemed to be more relaxed having his mother around all the time.

When not with Jamie during the day Haley would spend her time cleaning the house and cooking, although at the moment she wouldn't eat much herself but at dinner times just play with her food.

Nathan had gently suggested that they get a cleaner but Haley had answered crossly that she was perfectly capable and that she did not want any more outside help in her house.

Nathan continued to help Lucas and Skill's with the coaching but every day he felt guilt when he left Haley in the house on her own.

Their friends were all too wrapped up in their own lives, Brooke getting a baby and Lucas and Peyton dancing around each other trying to decide if they could be together and so none had seemed to notice Haley's change.

So it surprised him when Quentin brought it up explaining he had been to the house after Haley took leave to check she was ok but that she was not the same Haley Scott and Nathan silently cheered that he wasn't the only one who noticed something was up.

Quentin had told him that Haley was too great for him to just let her go and he needed to do something.

Quentin had then gone on to tell him that if couldn't be the man to look after her he sure as hell would and it had taken everything in Nathan not to kick his ass. Nathan knew he was going to be the one to do something he just didn't know what that something he needed to do was.

He wondered if Haley knew what a difference she made in so many people's lives like Quentin who would have been kicked off the team and maybe out of school if it hadn't have been for her.

He loved having a fiery wife who from the beginning had accepted no bullshit from him but now that seemed all gone.

It came to a head the day of Jamie's birthday party where Haley had stayed up all night baking and making sure everything was perfect for his party where 30 of his school friends were coming over.

He heard her clattering around in the kitchen all night but he did not disturb her knowing she would just tell him she wanted everything to be perfect.

It was not helped by the fact Deb had come to stay and visit her grandson and the strain on Haley to act normal seemed over whelming.

Nathan had got up early hoping to help his wife out and maybe convince her to get some sleep but she refused although she let him help put pineapple and cheese on cocktail sticks.

It was moments like this at the moment when his wife and him were in the same room not necessarily talking but near each other that he relished.

He often wondered why he couldn't just demand her to snap out of it or to let him in but he guessed it was the same reason she had put up with his drinking and depression, after the accident when he couldn't walk for so long, with out snapping.

He shouldn't have come home and now he didn't feel he could force Haley into anything else she might not be ready for.

The party had actually been going well and for a few seconds now and then he could actually forget that his wife wasn't happy.

He was actually thinking that they might pull it off and Jamie would have a birthday to remember for all the right reasons when he bumped into his mother in the kitchen.

She had asked him if he had seen the clown she had booked for entertainment and for a second he thought she was joking.

He had left her the job of finding an entertainer to his mum hoping it would give Haley less to do but Haley was going to freak if she saw a clown in her house.

Nathan heard the door bell ring he ran as fast as he could but it was too late as he got to the door he found a clown stood looking worried and Haley running out of the house.

He ran after her shouting for the clown to go to the party out back and followed her down the drive and was catching up when he saw her trip.

She fell down hard but just in time Nathan dived and caught her.

He felt her panting in his arms and he pulled her close glad that for once in a long time he'd been able to catch her as she fell.

Her out of breath pant's turned into sobs and he pulled her closer and rocked her gently as his heart broke and he preyed to god no one came out and saw Haley like this, she'd be mortified.

He didn't know how long they stayed there on the front lawn her sobbing and him holding her tight and even when the tears stopped he still held her tight afraid if he let her go she'd never come back.

"I can't do this anymore." She said quietly.

"I know" he said feeling the tears prick at his eyes.

"Everyone knows as well and I've been trying so hard to hide it but they can tell everyone can tell." Nathan stayed silent as Haley opened up to him for the first time in a long time.

"I've always tried hard but they all confirmed it and I just hope Jamie doesn't know what an awful mother I am." Nathan froze in shock, that was the last thing he expected her to say. Never in all the drama over the last few months had he ever doubted what a wonderful mother she was.

"I never knew how bad I was being until they told me I shouldn't have gone to work I shouldn't have got a nanny and I shouldn't have left you at home with her. I was obviously never cut out to be a mother or wife" She sobbed again and Nathan felt a mixture of sorrow and rage.

"They all said that to you." He asked softly trying to concentrate on comforting his wife rather then giving into his rage, she would be proud of him for once he was showing the restrain she so desperately wanted from him.

"They only told the truth." Haley said between sobs as he stroked her hair, he pulled back from her and looked her in eyes.

"You are perfect and you have done nothing wrong, they were wrong ok I need you to know how much me and Jamie love you. Do you think we would have such an amazing son if it was just me bringing him up." He pleaded with her desperate for her to listen and take in what he said.

She didn't cry any more but just looked up into his eyes.

"I'm just so tired." She said softly as one tear ran down her face.

"I know baby." He said and gently wiped away the tear with his thumb "You can go upstairs and have a sleep." He scooped her up and she clung to his chest and buried her head in the crook of his neck and for the first time in a long time he felt he had helped his wife.

He carried her up to their room and tucked her into the bed and drew the curtains.

Her eyelids fluttered shut immediately the stress of the day and her emotions wearing her out.

"It's all going to be ok." He said quietly as much for his own reassurance as hers.

He walked out of the room and his anger returned in full force.

He went down stairs and outside to check the party was still going ok, the clown was currently entertaining all the children and his anger subsided for a moment while he saw his sons happy face.

He told Deb he was just going to talk to his friends for a sec and asked her to watch the kids and he rounded up his friends.

Brooke, Peyton, Skill's and Lucas all stood in the living room, the furthest room from the garden where the children were, they all looked a bit confused as to what Nathan wanted them for.

He tried to restrain himself but he had used all his self control not losing it in front of Haley.

"What makes you guys so perfect?" Nathan asked and they all looked at him strangely and before they could answer he continued "Because last time I checked you weren't and yet you all think you can give advice to my wife, advice about being a parent or a wife when last time I checked none of you are any of those things." He snapped at them.

"I have a baby." Brooke added.

"Looking after a baby for a few weeks does not make you a parent." Nathan said and angrily stared at his friends as they still had no idea why he was so cross.

"You guys haven't even noticed have you?" he said bitterly "Haley is breaking down around us and none of you have noticed a damn thing."

"She never said.." Lucas started but Nathan cut him off.

"She hasn't said anything to me but I know some thinks wrong there may not have been words but there are sign's everywhere. She's quit her job, won't work on any music, won't go far from Jamie, she's not been sleeping and all she does is clean." He said as everyone still looked back at him silent but concern all over their faces and he felt his anger ebb away, it wasn't just them he was cross at it was himself too.

"She thinks she's a bad wife and a bad mother." Nathan said sadly "She's really unhappy." He said and for the first time spoke the words out loud making them very real and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth which rekindled his anger.

"So next time if you really want to help Haley and me don't tell her how you think she's messed up or tell her what she should do, just if she needs someone to talk to just listen. If I find any of you have told her she's not good enough even inadvertently there will be hell to pay." He finished and felt a weight lifted off his chest and felt proud he had been able to stand up for his wife.

"She's upstairs asleep right now, which is something she really needs so don't even think of disturbing her." He said and matched back out to the garden to try and enjoy the rest of his son's birthday party.

xxxxx

Before she went to sleep she needed to go see that her baby, Jamie, was ok but she stopped at the bottom of the stair's as she heard her husband shouting at their friends and for the first time in a long time she felt a small pearl of happiness in her stomach. Hearing Nathan defend her brought home his words which before on the lawn she had just prayed he half ment.

Tears sprang to her eyes again but they were not tears of sadness but tears of relief, Nathan understood what she was going through and she knew she didn't need to check on Jamie because her husband would keep him safe. She slowly made her way back to bed and feel into a deep sleep.

The next morning she woke up and found Nathan wrapped around her and it felt good, although it wasn't the next morning Nathan told her she had slept for 2 days and she was amazed what having a good nights sleep could do to make you feel better.

Thing's weren't magically fixed though but neither of them expected them to be.

They went to counselling and although Haley didn't return to teaching yet she had started singing and working with Peyton.

Things were slow but Nathan enjoyed every moment he got to spend with his wife and son and he actually appreciated how great it was.

It was almost perfect until Nathan walked into the master bathroom and found Haley in tears and his heart stopped beating as panic filled his body.

"I'm pregnant." Haley said no emotions on her tear stained face and Nathan was conflicted he felt immense joy but if his wife wasn't happy he didn't know what to do.

The look of conflict immediately left his face when he saw his wife break out in a wide smile.

He immediately joined her on the ground and showered her face in kisses as ecstatic bliss filled his body.

"How far along are you?" He asked as he held her in his arms.

"Two months."

"That was about the time we got back together again properly." Nathan said smiling at the happy memory.

"That was a really special time, I'm glad our baby was a product of so much love." Haley said contently as Nathan rubbed her still flat tummy.

She lay in his arms on the bathroom floor and felt extremely and truly happy. She knew that this feeling might not last forever but was happy that she would always have her husband and family who would always try and help her feel happy again.

**So this was my first one shot, as i said i've just had this idea in my head for ages so felt the need to write it. I will hopefully get up the epilogue for Jealousy Consumes soon and then i've got loads of new idea's for stories its just actually writing them, but i'm hoping in the summer i will have more spare time so i might be able to do loads of writing.**


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